I’ve swung between mousy and lion-hearted my whole life. I literally have told myself, “Stop being Mousy Melina!” when I felt I was a coward. There have been a lot of those times over the years and fewer times where I was truly proud of myself for being courageous. I love that feeling of being truly my best self: confident, awesome, and brave. Are you self-doubting at times? Do you wonder if others can “see through” you? I want you to watch the Ted Talk on Power Posing by Amy Cuddy – it’s about 20 minutes. What a gift her story is - whether you believe power posing is a placebo or truly life-changing, she is someone I admire for her grit.
I think it’s easy to believe what someone else is telling you – whether it’s a person or society at large or whatever and it may not be true. To be cowed by someone or something means to be intimidated. Some synonyms are browbeaten, bullied, scared, daunted, subdued, disheartened, you get the idea. It’s not where any of us want to live and think. But a problem I have and I think many others also share, is the desire to please others, get along, be a helper, be a peacemaker and above all else – be flexible. Like flexibility is a sign of maturity! “Just roll with it!” I have told myself a million times. But while that may be a necessary quality, it’s not above being assertive when you need to be. Sometimes, you need to be the one that doesn’t roll with it and puts a big, fat STICK in the wheel. Yep, disrupt that cart. Stop the whole show. Don’t be a mouse. Be strong and be majestic and rest in the dignity that comes from firmly putting your foot down. Truly, everyone around you will benefit.
Here’s your action list:
1. Start the 30-day Power Pose challenge. Pick two poses from the video and set a timer and do each one for two minutes every day.
2. Be candid – openheartedly, compassionately candid. The opposite of love is apathy. So, start with those you love and choose the kind of love that has the hard conversations over the comfort of denial or avoidance. Write about these moments and be patient with yourself as you stop rolling with whatever’s happening and stand up for yourself or others.
3. Being wrong is part of life. And sometimes, you may be wrong about when to put your foot down! That’s ok, welcome feedback and if someone pushes back, meet them there. This is where healthy growth happens. It’s important for joy though not comfortable. It IS where true intimacy and acceptance and friendship dwell.
Taking the challenge? Tell me about it in the comments. Let’s do this!